


After the Summer

by rastaorange



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: F/F, Pacifica comes to terms with some things, Post-Finale, really just all of my pacifica headcanons, the mabifica is a little later
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-02
Updated: 2016-06-11
Packaged: 2018-05-30 20:15:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 14,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6438673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rastaorange/pseuds/rastaorange
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pacifica Northwest has a lot to think over after twins Dipper and Mabel return home after the events of the Weirdmageddon and the end of the summer, like her growing crush on a certain friend of hers, or her relationships with others in the town of Gravity Falls. </p><p>Post-finale. Updates Saturdays.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. september

The Gravity Falls post office was quaint, fitting in with the rest of the city's good old American small town charm. Or at least, that's how Dipper Pines had once described it when he had gone with his sister and her friend-slash-formal-rival, Pacifica Northwest, to check for a package from his parents back home in Piedmont, California. That dreadfully hot day in July was the last time Pacifica had a reason to go there. Or at least, it had been. Since the end of the summer, Pacifica had been making weekly trips to mail out letters to Mabel, who had asked if she could be the blonde's pen pal. Pacifica had excitedly agreed.

 

Pacifica stood at the end of a short line of locals, arms crossed, a pink envelope in one hand and her cell phone in the other. A rather boring ten minutes trickled by before she was able to drop off the letter and head back out of the building. As the heavy glass door shut behind her, she felt her cheeks grow hot at the sight of her former best friends strolling along the sidewalk on the other side of the road. 

 

Hoping that they wouldn't notice her, Pacifica tugged nervously at the heavy llama sweater she wore. Now that the weather was cooling down, she could actually wear it without feeling like she was being roasted in an oven. However, the shaggy top wasn't something that her parents or peers would really approve of. Despite the fact that Mabel had knit it for her, Pacifica felt embarrassed to be seen by the girls while wearing it. As she quickly rushed away from the building, she saw Tiffany leaning towards the other girl and pointing at her out of the corner of her eye.

 

"Is that...?"

 

"No, that can't be. She's dressed like _weird girl_."

 

"Good thing she's not hanging around us anymore. Wouldn't want to be seen with _that_ mess."

 

Pacifica shoved her phone in the back pocket of her jeans and kept her head down as she started down the road, struggling to keep herself from biting back at the girls with any nasty comments. _You need to be the bigger person,_ she told herself. _Screw them for being mean to you. They're assholes and you don't need them._  


She turned towards a dirt trail that twisted through some bushes and trees and pushed past, dirt kicking up under her boots. At the end of the summer, she had discovered that it was a shortcut that would lead back to her family's manor. She'd been taking it since.

 

The woods were quiet, the only noises heard being those of the leaves rustling in the breeze and Pacifica's quiet footsteps. At first, she'd been wary of the path, unsure of what could be creeping out beyond the trees, but now she almost enjoyed it. It was peaceful, calm, and the silence gave her plenty of time to think. Not to mention that it saved her plenty of time each trip she took downtown.

 

By the time she made it back to the massive manor she called home, it was nearly 3 o'clock. The blonde climbed up the steps and pushed open one of the heavy wooden doors.

 

Old Man McGucket and his son had bought the mansion after the events of the Weirdmageddon, but had agreed to let the Northwests remain as long as they were polite and let him have his laboratory and a few rooms to himself. Pacifica and her family didn't really have a choice, considering they would have nowhere to go. At first, the thought of having to share her home with some disgusting hillbilly made her sick, but as time progressed, eventually she warmed up to him. McGucket was usually working away in a parlor room that he'd turned into a makeshift lab, creating all sorts of robots and devices to improve life in the manor. The old man had even taken to helping in her lessons; Pacifica had switched to being homeschooled when he made the offer to teach her.

 

The manor's main hall was empty besides one of the maids polishing the floor in the back corner. Pacifica slowly made her way up the staircase, not in much of a hurry to get anywhere. When she reached the top, she bumped into a familiar old man as he quickly turned a corner, sending the books in his arms flying.

 

Pacifica crouched down to help the scientist gather his belongings, a quiet "sorry" slipping out of her mouth (she had been changing from her old habits and ways, but apologizing was still a new and awkward concept to her). 

 

"My bad," McGucket replied. "I should'a been lookin' where I was going. Gotta hurry off to the Shack to give these books to Stanford before he's off travelin' again." The man stood up straight, his arms full of heavy and worn down journals, their pages hanging out messily. 

 

"The Stans are back in town already?" Pacifica asked. It had only been 3 weeks since they'd left town to head off on some epic monster hunting adventure up north. She wasn't expecting them to come back until at least December.

 

McGucket nodded. "Somethin' about visitin' Soos 'n Melody," he told her as he descended down the grand staircase. Pacifica rushed to catch up with him.

 

"Can I come with you?" She asked him. It wasn't often that Pacifica found an excuse to visit the Mystery Shack now that Dipper and Mabel were gone for the rest of the school year, and she was curious to see how Soos and his girlfriend were running it with the Stan twins gone.

 

"Sure! The more the merrier," McGucket beamed. 

 

Their walk through the woods was longer than Pacifica had anticipated and made her wish she had better walking shoes. She knew to be thankful for the nice weather, however, considering it would soon be cooling down and she'd be trapped in that big home of hers all winter considering the fact that most of her old friends wouldn't talk to her anymore. Trips to ski lodges and the mall weren't all that fun when you were by yourself.

 

The Mystery Shack was fairly empty for a Friday afternoon in late September, the only people in the gift shop being the older Pines twins and Soos. 

 

"How do I get this thing to work?" Stanley held a small smartphone in his hands, mashing his fingers against the screen. "Hello? Kids? What am I-"

 

"Let me show you, Mr. Pines," Soos offered, taking the device and carefully pressing the volume buttons on the side. Seconds later, the voices of Dipper and Mabel could be heard.

 

"Hey Grunkle Stan!" Mabel chirped on the other end. 

 

"Hey, kids! How's the seventh grade treating you two knuckleheads?" 

 

Part of Pacifica wanted to go up and greet her friends through the phone and chat with Stan for a moment, but she stayed put by the front door. McGucket had already made his way over to Ford, who had been sitting by the checkout counter, his nose buried in a book with the mothman on the cover. The Mystery Shack felt so noisy and full of energy that she wasn't entirely used to. The manor was almost always quiet, never chatty like this. The blonde felt out of place.

 

The front door swung open, hitting Pacifica in the back. She stumbled away and turned around to see the redheaded teenage clerk who'd been working the gift shop all summer.

 

"Sorry, dude! You alright?" Wendy looked the girl over. 

 

"I'm... Alright, I guess, yeah. I shouldn't have been standing there," Pacifica responded shyly. She watched as the girl walked away, rolling up the sleeves of a blue flannel top. Wendy still proudly wore the pine tree cap he had given her at the end of the summer, proving Pacifica wrong on a previous statement that trucker hats didn't look good on anybody. 

 

It seemed like it would be a while before McGucket was ready to leave. He and Ford had headed to the study underground to chat about the research they'd both done throughout the month. Stan had walked off into the living room, chatting on the phone with his niece and nephew. Meanwhile, Pacifica had pretended to be really interested in a certain cheap snowglobe to avoid talking with anyone or looking out of place.

 

"Pacifica?" Wendy cleared her throat behind the checkout counter. "Wanna step outside on the porch with me for a minute?"

 

The blonde slowly nodded and folded her arms over her chest, shrinking in on herself. Pacifica followed Wendy out through the front door and out onto the rickety wooden structure. Sighing, Wendy leaned against one of the support beams and held out her hand to Pacifica, offering a wrapped fudge pop to her. Pacifica hesitated before taking it. The sugary treat was something never included in the large grocery orders her parents made and they'd lectured her about following their 20-step diets and what-not. She unwrapped the pop as she sat down on the porch steps.

 

"So what's up with you? How have things been?" Wendy asked as she slid to the ground.

 

Pacifica shrugged. "Things have been pretty quiet. It's been a while since I've tagged along on any monster hunts or prevented the end of the world," she replied with a slight smile.

 

"I see you've still got your 'destiny sweater'," Wendy smirked. 

 

Looking down at her top, Pacifica ran her fingers over the llama design below her chest. "Oh yeah. Not exactly Chanel, but it's comfy at least."

 

"I wish I still had some cool stuff from the Weirdpocalypse. I mean, my symbol was a _bag of ice._ I can't exactly have any cool clothing or anything... At least Dipper gave me his hat." She tipped the brim of the cap towards Pacifica. "How are they doing, by the way?  I told 'em I'd keep in touch, but between school and work I've been kind of busy."

 

"Mabel texts me around the clock, and we're going to start sending each other pen pal letters every now and then. I haven't talked to Dipper much, though. Mabel said he's been a bit stressed out with the school year starting back up." 

 

Wendy nodded as Pacifica nibbled at the fudge bar. "It's gotten pretty boring working at the Shack without them running around, I'll have to admit," she laughed, "and Soos and Melody are doing great at running this place, but it's weird not walking into work to see Stan telling people about-" Wendy paused, puffing her chest out and mocking the stern expression the old man usually wore before continuing, "the spookums that I found eating my trash yesterday! It's true! Not fake! Completely real, I promise you, you're getting an authentic supernatural experience here!" 

 

Pacifica giggled at the spot-on impression and finished her pop as the door beside them squeaked open. McGucket teetered through it, a stack of even larger books and more papers in his arms. 

 

"Ah, Pacifica," Ford greeted the blonde with a six-fingered wave. "Fiddleford here has been telling me about your lessons with him. He said you're really enjoying them now."

 

Feeling a bit on the spot, Pacifica nodded awkwardly. "Oh, um, yeah. They're really, like, interesting. I used to think all of that science-type stuff was lame, but y'know. Not too bad." The first few lessons that she'd had with McGucket were (if she were being honest) a boring snoozefest, but after a week or two, she'd started to pick up with it and enjoy the long hours spent sitting on the fancy carpet in his office, watching as he demonstrated how to assemble different types of machinery or explain theories to her.

 

"Every scientist needs somewhere to keep their discoveries, and if not that, just a place to get their thoughts down. I thought you might find this useful." Ford smiled and handed her a leather-cover journal that felt heavy in her small hands. She brushed her fingers over the front, feeling the cool metal plate on the front that resembled the llama on her sweater. "Do you like it?"

 

She clutched it to her chest, trying to contain her excitement. "I-I love it," Pacifica murmured, smiling wide. "T-thank you, Mr. Pines." 

 

"Welp, I guess we better get goin'," McGucket chimed as he hopped down the porch steps. "See ya' later, Stanford!"

 

Wendy reached over and ruffled Pacifica's hair. Normally, the blonde would mind that, but she only smiled more. "If you ever get tired of these old geezers, you can always come hang out with my friends and I, FYI."

 

"I'll keep that in mind."

 

As Pacifica and McGucket started on the trip home, she flipped through the many blank pages that had yet to be filled. If someone had told her two months ago that she would be walking home with the kooky inventor who lived in the junkyard, wearing a tacky sweater Mabel Pines had knit for her, just coming from the Mystery Shack, she would have laughed in your face and told you there was no way in hell that would happen. Now, she realized how much she was changing. Thinking about it all, she decided she liked this much better than expensive trips to galleries and stores to go on a shopping spree. The Weirdmageddon had been a disaster, sure, but she was almost thankful for it. Without it, she would have spent the day with people she didn't like, stuck in a stuffy classroom in Gravity Falls Middle School, bored out of her mind but dreading to go home and be ignored by her parents.

 

The events of the Weirdmageddon had almost been a blessing.


	2. october

  
_October 16th, 2012_  
 _I've been putting off writing in this book Mabel's uncle gave me because I've been waiting for the right moment and it's just so pretty that I'm afraid of ruining the pages or something I guess. I've had one of a kind things made for me before, like a dress for a party or a pair of shoes, but this book is different. Nobody paid Stanford to give this to me. He did it on his own. I just think that's really special. My old friends would probably say I'm going soft or whatever and I've probably lost whatever popularity I had, but do I even really care anymore? Lately everything has been changing and it's all going so fast. I miss Dipper and Mabel that big fat pig of hers I used to hate and I kind of miss Tiffany and everyone else we used to hang out with and I really don't know where anything is going anymore_

Pacifica paused, lifting a glittery pink gel pen off of the page. She grabbed an elastic hair tie off of the corner of her desk and slid it through her blonde locks, pulling it all back into a high ponytail. Skimming over what she read, she continued writing by starting another paragraph. _McGucket's been giving me a lot of lessons lately with mechanics and junk like that. I never thought I'd be lying under old cars in  polyester overalls with the guy who used to live in the junkyard and play his banjo, but here we are. I totally expected it to be a giant snoozefest or whatever, but it's actually one of the few things I've been looking forward to since the summer ended. Who knows? Maybe I'll have a future in this kind of stuff or something._ _Today I got another letter from Mabel in the mail. It was kind of hard to read past all of the Lisa Frank stickers and glitter glue, but she talked about how she misses me and the town. She also mentioned how Dipper was swearing up and down that there was a poltergeist in the locker rooms at their school and he's been staying up late talking to other nerds online to try to come up with a solution. I kind of miss seeing weird monsters and stuff without them. I mean, sure, there are those freaky little gnomes running around in the woods, and I think I saw a fairy once (not to mention everything that happened during the Weirdmageddon), but it's just not the same without Mabel trying to befriend it or Dipper trying to write about it and snap pictures._ _Have I mentioned that I miss Mabel? Because I really do. I didn't think I would when I found out she was only going to stay in town for the . I really hated her at first, actually. Maybe just because she was nice to me without even having to try. Maybe because she didn't hate me right away. There was a while where she and I didn't get along, but they all cleared up by the middle of July. She invited me over for picnics and sleepovers with her friends. I was so mean to her for the longest time. I treated her like dirt, but she still respected and cared about me. I want to be as kind as Mabel Pines is._

_I think I'm going to use this journal to keep my thoughts and stuff. Like a diary, but not as lame._


	3. november

Pacifica stomped over patches of mud and twigs scattered among the forest floor, muttering under breath. On a rainy afternoon in November, she had taken a trip to drop off another letter for Mabel at the post office, deciding she needed a break after a screaming match with her mother back at the manor. However, the post office was closed, and she ended up having to turn right back around. The girl didn't want to return home yet, though.

 

Instead of staying on the pathway, she cut between two thick bushes, crossing her arms tight over her chest, the hood of her peach-colored sweatshirt pulled over her head. The Oregon rain had already soaked her clothes, and she doubted she'd find anywhere dry in the woods. _Should've brought an umbrella,_ she thought. She didn't really have much of an idea where she was going, but she didn't care.

 

Pacifica walked for what felt like an hour, distracting herself by trying to think of happier things and positive thoughts. It was hard to keep her spirits up when she sulking out in the woods after her mother had just called her a "stupid brat who only cares about herself" and other hurtful insults. 

 

The blonde stopped in her tracks. A chill ran down her spine and her hairs stood on end. She felt as if she were standing in molasses and couldn't move to save her life. 

 

She stared straight into the eye of Bill Cipher.

 

Or at least, a cold stone statue of him. Wedged deep into the mud was a figure of the demon himself, his narrow pupil looking directly at her, one of his hands jabbing out of his side. Pacifica didn't move for several minutes before she finally sunk to her knees in the dirt and grass, tears blurring her vision. How long had the statue been there? Why was it there? Who just left it in the woods like this? She asked herself these questions, knowing she'd likely never find out the answers.

 

Slowly, she crawled over to the figure, swallowing her fear. She leaned against it, her back pressed against his eye, her knees pulled close to her chest. 

 

"I'm not a stupid brat," she sniffled, "right?"

 

Bill Cipher did not answer her.

 

"I told her I didn't want to go to some dinner party next week and she freaked out on me," Pacifica told the stone, rubbing at her eyes. "It all just kind of piled up on each other and we just started screaming at each other." Shivering, she glimpsed over her shoulder, half-expecting the statue to make some sort of response.

 

The only noises Pacifica heard were those of the rain falling and birds chirping up in the trees.

 

"I'm not going home," she whimpered. "I don't want to." Pacifica buried her head in her arms as more tears spilled over her cheeks. She let herself cry for once; usually she would tell herself to suck it up and simply _deal with it,_ whatever "it" was. She cried for her parents, who didn't show her the right amount of love she needed or the respect she deserved. She cried for the town, which had been through so much in the past few months and nobody seemed to ever really want to talk about the events that had taken place in August. She cried for herself, partially out of the pity no one else would pay her, partially out of anger and self-hatred towards herself. 

 

"This is all your fault!" She yelled at the stone before shoving all of her weight and strength at it.

 

Bill Cipher moved slightly, leaning backwards in the mud. There was still no response. After all, she was talking to a statue and not a living, conscious demon.

 

Pacifica curled up as tight as she could beside Bill, her eyes squeezed shut. She remained like that in the rain, chilled to the bone, until she fell asleep.

 

* * *

 

"I found her!"

 

Slowly, Pacifica lifted her head and blinked twice to get the sleep out of her eyes. A flashlight beam shone in her eyes, causing her to turn her head. The sun had gone down while she was out.

 

"Pacifica, what are you doing out here?" Wendy murmured, a worried expression spread across her freckled face. "Dude, we've been looking for you for like, two hours now." The redhead was joined by McGucket and Soos, the three of them crowding around the small girl.

 

"I-"

 

"Let's just worry about gettin' her to the Shack," McGucket interrupted. Wendy and Soos nodded before helping Pacifica to her feet, letting her lean against them for support. She still shook from the cold as they guided her through the underbrush and trees, feeling disoriented and sore from her uncomfortable nap in the rain.

 

She barely remembered making it to the Mystery Shack with the three, changing into an oversized t-shirt from the gift shop that served her well as a nightshirt, and crashing on the old recliner in the living room.

 

 

* * *

 

Pacifica woke up again, confused for a moment as to why she was buried under many comforters and sheets in Stanley's old recliner, until she recalled the events that had occurred the night before. Stretching, she threw the covers aside and wandered out into the kitchen, glimpsing down at the baggy t-shirt she wore. She didn't see a "COOL STUMP AT THE MYSTERY SHACK" even though the clothing advertised so.

 

Melody and Soos stood near a counter, both dressed in their work uniforms. McGucket sat at a card table chewing away at a stack of pancakes and perked up at the sight of Pacifica.

 

"Mornin', sleepyhead," the woman greeted her, smiling as she tucked a short ponytail up through her cap. 

 

Groggily, Pacifica slid into a seat across from McGucket. "What happened last night?" She mumbled, rubbing her eyes.

 

"I couldn't find ya anywhere back home," the old man answered through a bite of his short stack. "'N so I came lookin' for ya back here. But Wendy and Soos didn't know where you were. So we all went out lookin' for ya for a while." 

 

"You went to sleep in the living room and slept all night. You were probably sick, too, dude," Soos added.

 

Pacifica bit her lip. She still felt warm and a bit dizzy if she were being honest, and whatever appetite she'd had earlier was long gone. Folding her arms tight over her chest, she kept quiet. 

 

"After I finish eatin', we should head to the manor." McGucket looked at Pacifica across the table.

 

She shifted uncomfortably in her seat. Her home was the last place she wanted to be in that moment. The manor was large, but not nearly large enough for Pacifica to be as far away from her mother as she would have liked. She felt a small pit of dread in her stomach just thinking about going back.

 

"Something wrong?" Melody frowned as she set a cold glass of water next to Pacifica. 

 

After taking a small sip of the drink, Pacifica sighed. She usually kept quiet about whatever her parents said or did. They were always so nasty and rude, she'd simply grown used to it. "My mom and I got into a fight, that's all," she croaked. The kitchen suddenly felt a little too quiet for her.

 

Melody bit her lip and plopped into the seat beside the girl. "Pacifica," she murmured worriedly. "Do you want to talk about it?"

 

"We got into a fight because I didn't want to go to a dinner party and she called me a brat," Pacifica blurt out. "B-but it's not really a big deal. I'll be okay." She hung her head.

 

Only sighing, Melody set a hand on Pacifica's shoulder. There was another moment of silence before she spoke. The quiet Pacifica usually longed for now felt suffocating. "Now I can't really change your mother and there are some... _colorful_ words I'd like to say to her, I do know that you're always welcome to come over when you need a break from her."

 

Pacifica nodded, sniffling.

 

"Okay?"

 

"Okay."

 

After McGucket finished his food and the clothes Pacifica had been wearing the night before were washed and dried, the duo left the Shack for the manor, but not after mailing out Mabel's letter and stopping so the girl could buy a coffee from Greasy's Diner.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> double update! thank you so much for all of the positive feedback on the first chapter!


	4. december

 

Hunched over the kitchen table in the Mystery Shack, Pacifica lightly pressed a pencil over a blank page in her journal, her tongue peeking out from her lips as she attempted to sketch a prototype design for her latest project with McGucket. She'd asked him for help with building her very own robot, (she had to admit, what the old man pulled off during the Weirdmageddon was admirable and impressive) and he'd told her that if she came up with a design she liked, they could look into it. For the past few days, she'd been working on rough drafts in the leather-bound book Ford had given her.

 

She hummed with excitement as she drew, trying her best to contain what was trying to grow into a wide smile. Mabel and Dipper would be arriving later that evening and staying until the first day of January. Pacifica could hardly believe that three and a half months had already flown by since she had last seen them.

 

Ever since that one night in November, Pacifica had taken to visiting the Shack two to four times a week. Soos and Melody had grown used to her coming and going as she pleased and had even given the girl her own key to get in when they were away. Sometimes McGucket would tag along with her when he wasn't preoccupied with all of the projects he would take on. She liked having a safe place to escape to every now and then.

 

She reached for a pink colored pencil out of a small pouch next to her when she heard the familiar ring of the bell on the door in the gift shop. Pacifica turned her head towards the sound when Stanley's gravely voice rang out.

 

"Soos? Melody?"

 

Pacifica immediately smiled and pushed her chair out to go greet the man.

 

"Mr. Pines!" Soos beamed before throwing his arms around the former con-artist. 

 

Ford and Melody had also entered the room by now, and for a few pleasant moments the adults chatted. Pacifica sat on the edge of the checkout counter, listening in to their conversation. By now, she was used to just listening in when grown-ups talked. Her parents would always hush her otherwise. "Not now, Pacifica, let the adults here talk. Go play," if she was lucky. If her parents were feeling a bit mean, she'd receive a harsh look and a "shut up."

 

"Pacifica! How's that journal treating you?" Ford looked at the girl, changing the topic of the conversation to include her.

 

For a moment, she was a bit surprised they were including _her._ She was caught off guard."Uh," she stammered shyly, "I really like it. Thank you."

 

"'Really like it' is an understatement! You should see some of the drawings she's done in there," Melody poked, smiling over at Pacifica.

 

The blonde tugged at the sleeves of her sweater (a baggy pink top she had bought so she wouldn't stretch out her llama one) and hung her head to hide her smile. She didn't really think much of the silly doodles in the journal. Painting was on the list of the many hobbies she had mastered, but that had been through a class her parents had paid for. Besides, her work was identical to everyone else's and hadn't received much praise. 

 

"I'd love to see them sometime," the old man nodded.

 

Pacifica slipped off of the top of the counter when a buzzer in the kitchen went off. "Oh! Supper's ready," Melody announced.

 

 

* * *

 

Halfway through dinner, Dipper and Mabel burst into the kitchen, dressed in winter gear with their bags at their feet. They grinned wide as their uncles and friends crowded around them in a cloud of hugs and greetings.

 

"Pacifica!" Mabel squealed as she pulled her friend close, nearly smothering the blonde with her puffy vest and sweater.

 

"Hey," Pacifica murmured, blushing and returning the hug.

 

Mabel pulled away and stretched her arms out in front of her. "Sheesh, that was a long bus ride! 11 hours," she grumbled, peeling her vest away. "But snow! There's snow on the ground! I didn't think there would be any!"

 

"You slept for half of it," Dipper added before gesturing to spot on his shoulder, "And drooled on me. Plus you've seen snow before."

 

"Do you have to be such a debbie downer, Dip?" Mabel pouted.

 

He stuck his tongue out at her before sliding into a spot at the kitchen table, already starting up a conversation with Ford.

 

Mabel snorted as she grabbed her bags and tugged them towards the staircase leading to the attic. "You coming, Paz?" 

 

Pacifica crossed her arms and followed the brunette up the rickety steps. She tended to stay away from the attic, considering all that it was fairly empty without Dipper and Mabel living in it anymore. Besides, the yellow recliner in the living room was decent enough when it came to finding a place to sleep if she just ignored the weird stains and smells. 

 

"This place is a ghost town without us!" Mabel exclaimed, tossing a duffel bag onto the twin size mattress on the right side of the space.

 

"It gets pretty quiet around here sometimes," Pacifica replied. "But it's like, not that bad. Want me to help you unpack or something?" She asked, remembering there wasn't exactly a butler to help the girl.

 

Mabel nodded and unzipped her bright pink suitcase. Quieting down, they began to tuck Mabel's sweaters away into one of the dresser drawers. The twins would be in town for almost two weeks, giving them plenty of time to soak in the experiences they'd missed in the town.

 

"What's in that old gym bag?" Pacifica asked, eying the duffel on the bed.

 

A grin stretched across Mabel's rosy face, flashing her braces. "I might have brought some Christmas decorations to brighten up this room a little bit," she answered in a sing-song tone as she rocked back and forth on her heels.

 

"Wait, Christmas? I thought you celebrated Hanukkah." Pacifica looked over at Mabel.

 

"Our family usually does both! It's pretty fun," Mabel smiled as she unzipped the duffel bag. She pulled out a long, tangled string of lights that she knew well would take the better part of her evening to fix.

 

Pacifica nodded slowly. "So are we going to have a, uh... Hanukkah dinner?" 

 

Mabel snorted. "Hannukkah ended last weekend! I wish, though. I've never celebrated it with Grunkle Stan or Ford. But there's always Christmas! You'll be coming over here, right?"

 

She hadn't exactly planned on visiting the Shack on Christmas (she wasn't even sure what her plans for the holiday were up until that point), but how could Pacifica refuse Mabel's invitation? "Duh," Pacifica smiled, which earned her another one of Mabel's bear hugs.

 

Together, they spent three hours decorating the attic with everything from lights to miniature trees and even an inflatable snowman that was originally supposed to be a yard decoration (Pacifica was impressed Mabel had managed to fit it all into one bag). Afterwards, they collapsed onto the lumpy twin mattress on Mabel's side of the space, dozing off side by side.

 

* * *

 

For Pacifica, Christmas wasn't usually a day involving any sort of real family bonding or that cheesy warmth found in TV movies revolving around the holiday. Usually she would wake up and head downstairs to find an array of gifts scattered under a tree that was nearly 20 feet tall, alone while her parents were off busy preparing for some big party that night. After she opened her presents, she would spend the rest of the day in her room until her prissy relatives arrived, having "adult conversations" and telling her go away. It was what she had grown to expect.

 

Only this year, she knew it would be different. At 5 am, McGucket knocked twice on her bedroom door before shoving it open and telling her to get dressed and head downstairs. Half-asleep, she did so, throwing on a light blue dress over a pair of tights before leaving her bedroom. She also remembered to grab the two neatly wrapped boxes sitting on her vanity.

 

Unsurprisingly, Preston and Priscilla Northwest were out of sight, probably still asleep. Pacifica knew they were having a family dinner that evening, but she wasn't planning on sticking around for it. She stood in front of the tree and what was likely the smalled stack of presents she'd ever received on Christmas. A small part of her was disappointed, but she remembered her parents had lost tons of money after the Weirdmageddon, and tried to keep in mind that she was lucky to even have the gifts at all. She only reached for one of the items under the tree- a small black box with a pink ribbon on it. The gift tag on the lid read that it was McGucket's gift to her.

 

She carefully undid the ribbon and opened the box to find a silver charm bracelet inside. Pacifica noticed there were three charms already attached to the chain as she removed the accessory from its cushioned spot in the case. They were shaped like a llama, a wrench, and a shooting star.

 

"You picked these out for me?" Pacifica turned to the older man, who was sliding on his heavy red coat, nearly ready to walk out the door. She had never really taken McGucket for one with any taste in fashion or accessories (he was family at this point, but the man did wear overalls year round and lately had grown fond of tacky Hawaiian shirts). Pacifica was sticken with surprise and _what was this, platonic love for a family member?_

 

He nodded. "Thank you," she mumbled before placing it around her left wrist.  

 

Together, like always, they left the manor together. It was too cold and snowy to walk (Pacifica knew Mabel would have a field day with the white Christmas they were having) to the Mystery Shack, so McGucket pulled an old truck around for them to ride in. She leaned her head against the frosty glass of the passenger side window as they rolled through the woods.

 

She hopped out of the vehicle when they rolled up in the gravely parking lot outside the old building. Glowing yellow lights hung along the porch and a thick wreath hung on the gift shop's door. Pacifica climbed the porch steps, presents in hand, suddenly feeling a bit nervous. What she knew about traditional family Christmases came from holiday specials that aired on TV.

 

In front of a tree sagging with ornaments in the gift shop's back corner (that Pacifica thought looked _microscopic_ compared to the one at her house) sat Mabel and Dipper, who were still dressed in pajamas and chattering quietly when Pacifica and McGucket walked in. Melody, Soos, Ford, and Stanley were standing near the checkout counter, sipping coffee from mugs and looking like they were about to fall back asleep any moment.

 

"Paz!" Mabel chirped before scrambling to her feet. "You've gotta open your present!" The brunette nearly collided with Pacifica as she rushed to deliver a rather lumpy package to her.

 

"O-okay, but only if you open mine," Pacifica stammered before passing over one of the boxes she had brought with her to Mabel.

 

Pacifica went first and tore the paper away from her gift. The girl unfolded and held up a turtleneck sweater, smiling even wider as she looked over the design on the front that resembled a diamond. She held the bundle of violet yarn against her chest. "You knit this for me?" 

 

Mabel nodded quickly. "It took me two weeks to figure out how to get the yarn to sparkle like that! Do you like it?"

 

"I love it," Pacifica gushed. "I really love it. Thank you." The words that once felt foreign on her tongue were now finding their way into her everyday vocabulary and she was definitely aware of it. "It's nicer than any of the designer stuff in my wardrobe," she poked, pretending not to notice when Mabel's cheeks grew hot.

 

"Aw, Paz, you're gettin' all mushy on me," Mabel giggled before picking at the paper around the present Pacifica had given her with her rather glittery painted nails. Her jaw then dropped.

 

"What? Did I buy you the wrong kind...?" Pacifica frowned. Had she messed up? Those _were_ the markers Mabel had been going on about for so long, right? For the past four months, she kept mentioning saving up all of the allowance she had to buy a few, but it would take her weeks of chores to manage to even buy a small amount.

 

"Pacifica, I've been wanting these for months now! How did you afford these?" Mabel threw her arms around Pacifica, squealing with excitement. Now it was the blonde's turn to turn red as her friend squeezed her tight. 

 

Pacifica simply shrugged. Even though her parents weren't as rich as they had been, 100 dollars didn't seem like all that much, especially if it was being spent on Mabel.

 

"Thankyouthankyouthankyou!"

 

After half an hour of exchanging gifts (Pacifica received an anime DVD from Soos and Melody and handed Dipper his gift, a telescope and star map), Ford cleared his throat and glanced over at his twin brother, who was trying to conceal a smile. 

 

"We have an announcement to make," Ford noted. "We have one last present for Pacifica and Fiddleford."

 

Pacifica, who was sitting on the floor with Mabel's arms around her and a plate of cookies in her lap, glimpsed over at the men with growing curiosity. 

 

"You knuckleheads can come with us when we leave town!" Stanley jumped to his feet.

 

"We'll be making a two month journey up north for a research project on the supernatural. We had a feeling you two might like to join us," Ford told them. "We have plenty of resources on the Stan-o-War that Pacifica could use to continue her studies during the voyage, not to mention the potential firsthand experiences with all sorts of creatures..."

 

"What'd'ya say?" 

 

Pacifica made eye contact with Mcgucket for a moment. Two months was a long time to spend at sea. Sure, she had been on cruises before, but those were luxurious ships with swimming pools and short trips to small islands far from Oregon, not tiny little boats up where it was cold and she would be stuck at sea for weeks on end. However, she would have a chance to get away. She'd be nowhere near Bill Cipher in the woods, her parents in the manor, or Tiffany and all of their old friends. 

 

"I'd love to," she answered. "Absolutely, yes!"

 

McGucket adjusted his glasses. "Well, I guess we could make it work," he beamed. "An' I'm sure we could get all sorts'a research done out there together, Ford."

 

"You're _so_ lucky," Dipper bit. "I'd give an arm and a leg to go travel with them!"

 

"Pacifica! That's so cool!" Mabel grinned. "You guys will get to be all sciencey and junk! Hey, Paz, will you tell me if you see any mermaids? Will you bring me some souvenirs? Like a penguin egg? Waddles needs a friend back home!"

 

Pacifica laughed, leaning against the brunette. "Sure, Mabel. I'll bring you some penguin eggs and say hi to the mermaids for you."

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> all of the positive feedback is what keeps me going! thank you for all of the kind comments!


	5. january

In the January snow, Pacifica stood in the Mystery Shack parking lot with Dipper Pines as they both shivered and tried to make small talk. The blonde kept her head down, staring at the glitter and confetti from the party poppers they had all opened right at midnight earlier that morning. She'd barely gotten any sleep since.

 

"How are your parents?" Dipper asked, tugging a hat that used to belong to Wendy Corduroy over his curls.

 

"Meh. Yours?"

 

"Meh."

 

"Where's Mabel? Aren't you supposed to be leaving for the bus stop soon?" Pacifica glimpsed over her shoulder, gazing back at the old building. The two weeks the Pines twins were visiting had already flown by and they were scheduled to leave back for Piedmont that afternoon. She wasn't ready for them to leave, but it wasn't like they had much of an option.

 

"Probably still packing all of her stuff. I'm still amazed with her skills. It's like watching someone play Tetris," Dipper joked, kicking one of his sneakers against the ice.

 

"She _is_ pretty great," Pacifica murmured before quickly realizing what she said. Her eyes went wide as she looked up at the boy in front of her. "I mean-"

 

Dipper laughed and shoved his hands in the pockets of his coat. "She'd say the same about you, y'know."

 

"Me?" Pacifica shook her head. "There's nothing really great about me." What confidence she once had (mostly what she had faked but a good deal of what was real, too) had crumbled in the past few months. It wasn't like she had a reputation to uphold anymore, however. With her old friends no longer talking to her and her parents no longer dragging her around to different galas and parties, she never had to have the _I'm a Northwest and I'm better than you_ attitude she was once used to.

 

"Are you kidding me?" Dipper reached over and punched the side of her arm. "Pacifica, Mabel's always talking about you." He then cleared his throat and batted his eyelashes in some sort of attempt to impersonate his sister. "'Oh, Pacifica sent me a package from Gravity Falls today! I saw a picture of her online the other day! She has the prettiest blue eyes and blonde hair that must be _so_ fun to braid-'" The Pines boy was interrupted by a singular snowball nailing him in the back of the head. He stumbled forwards before spinning around to see who threw it.

 

"What are you dorks talkin' about over there?" Mabel called out from the porch before hopping down the creaky steps, her many suitcases and bags trailing after her.

 

Dipper rubbed where he had been hit, pouting. "Nothing," he muttered.

 

"Well then. I have a gift for Paz that I need to give her before we leave!" The Pines girl suddenly shoved a package towards Pacifica, beaming.

 

"Again? Mabel, you already gave me something for Christmas-"

 

"Just open it, dummy! It's important!" 

 

"Okay," Pacifica muttered, her lips curling into a small smile as she tore leftover candy-cane wrapping paper away from a book that felt heavy in her chilly hands. Her eyes widened. _Mabel and Paz's Great Adventures_ was written on the cover of a handmade scrapbook decorated with glitter and ribbons galore.

 

"It's pictures and drawings of all the cool stuff we've done together!" Mabel chirped, placing her hand on Pacifica's shoulder. "I thought you might want something to kind of, uh," she hesitated, "think about while you're up north."

 

Pacifica held the book to her chest. "Thank you. That's sweet. Cheesy, but sweet."

 

"Kids! We've gotta get you to the bus station!" Stan's rough voice yelled from the porch.

 

Mabel and Dipper both let out loud groans in harmony. "I guess this is goodbye," the girl murmured. 

 

"I mean, it's only for a few months. You guys will be back in June," Pacifica reminded her. "That's not, like, too long." 

 

Mabel wrapped her arms around the girl, pulling her into a bear hug. "Promise you'll text and call when you can!"

 

"Duh," Pacifica replied.

 

Giggling, Mabel shoved Pacifica away, but not before leaning in and pecking a quick kiss on the blonde's cheek. "Bye, Paz!"

 

Pacifica, cheeks red hot, stammered out something (was it a goodbye? She couldn't even remember). _Mabel Pines just kissed you. No big deal. No. That's totally, like, a big deal. She kissed my cheek. Am I allowed to kiss her? Does she like-_  


_No. We're not going to go there._

_But Mabel Pines just kissed your cheek._

 

* * *

 

"This is it?" Pacifica glanced over at McGucket and Stanford, who were busy lugging various suitcases and trunks onto the boat in front of them. Nearly a week had passed since Dipper and Mabel had gone home to California.

 

"The Stan-o-War! Ford and I busted our asses to get this ready for sailing out there, y'know," Stanley replied, ruffling Pacifica's ponytail.

 

"Language, Stanley!" Ford scolded.

 

"She's- what're you, 13? She's 13! And a sailor now! She'll get used to it," Stanley argued before patting Pacifica on the back. "Right, Pacifica?"

 

"Right," Pacifica answered as she rolled the sleeves of her cardigan up to her elbows.  _I can't believe I'm going to spend the next two months on this thing,_ she thought, staring up at the vessel. It was definitely a lot _smaller_ than she had expected. She could barely imagine one person staying on the boat, let alone a crew of four. 

 

"It might be a little cramped, but we'll make it work," Stanley told her, as if reading her mind. "I just hope you don't get seasick easily," he added with a gravely laugh.

 

Swallowing whatever doubt she had in her, Pacifica boarded the Stan-o-War for the first time. She knew now that there was no going back. She would be exposed to whatever lied beyond the Oregon coast, suffer from a serious lack of good cell reception, and be stuck on the boat until the voyage was over. Did she really want to do this? Pacifica leaned over the side of the boat, staring at the salty water below. It wasn't too late to ask to go home.

 

She shook the thought away. There was no way she was going back to the manor or her parents. Not without a little adventure first.

 

The girl wandered over to the inside of the boat, which was a cramped space that was even tinier than her bedroom back at home. There was a workbench cluttered with maps that rested underneath a shelf on the wall that held several thick encyclopedias and journals. A wide table with booth seating and a futon were awkwardly placed next to the kitchen area (if a mini-fridge and two cabinets even counted as a kitchen).

 

"Where do we sleep?" Pacifica asked. 

 

"You can sleep on the futon," Ford replied. "The table folds out into a mattress for two. It's not comfortable, but it's manageable."

 

  
_A futon._ It was definitely a downgrade from the king-size mattress at home that she was more familiar with, but she was determined to make the whole living-on-a-boat situation work. _You can do this. It's only a few months._  


 

"Alright," Pacifica answered, forcing a smile. 

 

_Step out of your comfort zone, Paz. This is just what you need._

* * *

_January 20th, 2012_

_It's been two weeks since we've set sail._

_Sharing a boat with three old dudes for two months is a bit more fun than I thought it would be, actually. Ford can go on and on when he's talking to McGucket. I knew they used to be work partners back in the day, but they're really close friends now apparently. I guess Stan's alright too. He smells weird but he makes funny jokes and has some interesting stories to tell. McGucket and I are still doing our lessons on weekdays, too. We've been using Ford's old research and some books he brought on the boat with us._

_It's surprising how little I've thought about my parents, too. It's not like I can really call or text them out here with this bad cell reception, but I don't think they would want to talk to me anyways. I miss Melody and Soos, though. Wendy, too. It's weird that I haven't talked to anybody besides Ford, McGucket, and Stan these past 14 days. It's not that bad. They take turns (driving? steering? captaining?) the boat, but usually Ford handles it. It's cold out here, but luckily I brought Mabel's sweaters with me and I went on a shopping spree for warmer clothes before we left._

_I haven't seen any mermaids OR penguins yet. I hope Mabel's not too disappointed._

_I miss Mabel._

_We've been talking almost every day since August. It's hard to just quit something like that cold turkey. We've become so close since last summer, ~~sometimes I wonder if we'll ever be any closer. Maybe I'll even get the courage to ask her~~_

 

_Maybe I can show her some of the journal entries I've written when she comes back in June. Not this one, though. I was hoping by now I would have seen some kind of weird creature to write about. Sure, I saw them all the time in Gravity Falls, hell, I was even a witness of an APOCALYPSE full of weird stuff, but this would be different. Ford said there are mermaids in the lake back home, but he also said freshwater mermaids are 'pretentious assholes- I need to watch my language, sorry' and that whatever is out here is likely to be more interesting than what's back home._

_Who knows? Maybe I will see some mermaids or penguins or giant squids out here. I'm ready for some more adventures, I think._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you can't run from your gay thoughts forever, pacifica!


	6. february

 

Just three days before Valentine's Day, Pacifica leaned over the side of the boat, letting the chilly breeze brush against her cheeks. Despite her sweater, coat, and scarf, she could definitely feel the cold as they sailed further north. So far, she still hadn't seen any mermaids or penguins, but Ford did start babbling about some kind of cryptid fish the week before. 

 

By now, she had adjusted to life on the sea. She woke up around 8 every morning and would make breakfast. Afterwards, she would either spend her time writing or listening to music out on the deck if the weather was decent. In the afternoons, she had short lessons with McGucket, usually involving history or algebra. The nights were especially cold, so she would huddle up inside under as many blankets as possible and leaving the lights on. Out there, their lamps and the stars were the only sources of light. The dark and the idea of whatever could be looming out there made her uneasy.

 

Her eyes closed slowly, her chin resting in her soft palms as they sailed along. She was running out of space in her journal and she'd already read the majority of the books Ford kept on the boat.

 

"Bored?"

 

She opened her eyes and looked up at Stanley, who was leaning back, holding two peach sodas. He handed one over to her.

 

"Thanks. And yeah, I guess so." Pacifica opened the drink carefully and took a sip.

 

"Me too. Sometimes this boat feels too small sometimes, y'know?" The old man glimpsed out at the water, one hand gripping the railing along the side of the Stan-o-War.

 

"I know what you mean," she replied, cupping both hands around the soda can. "I wish I had cell service out here. I could call Mabel or at least find something to keep me occupied." Pacifica then spit out a peach pit out into the water. She always forgot about the pit.

 

"Well, at least we're only gonna be out here for a few more weeks. I'm sure we'll find something to keep us entertained. I think I've got some playing cards around here somewhere, maybe we can play poker or-"

 

Stan was suddenly interrupted by the loud creaking and groaning of the boat.

 

"What was that?" Pacifica murmured. 

 

"That didn't sound too good," Stanley uttered. "Stay here. I'll be right back."

 

Pacifica was alone on the front deck, since Ford was by the wheel and McGucket was napping inside. A fog had rolled in over the waves, making it difficult to see more than a few yards beyond their small vessel. There was another groan as the boat rocked a bit to the left.

 

"Stan?" She called out. "Ford?"

 

No answer. 

 

Swallowing her nerves, she peeked over the railing, half-expecting some sort of ocean goblin to pop up at her. Pacifica sighed with relief when there was nothing there. At least, she _thought_ there was nothing there. Only moments later, she heard a faint humming.

 

"Hello?" Pacifica called out. The fog was too thick for her to see where the sound was coming from. Hands shaking, she took another sip of her soda.

 

"Paz, aren't you gonna share some with me?" 

 

The soda can slipped out of Pacifica's hands as her eyes shot wide open. In the water staring up at her were the wide brown eyes of Mabel Pines. Shocked, Paz stumbled backwards, her boots tracking the sticky substance she'd spilled with her. She balled her hands into fists and rubbed her eyes. _You're just imagining things,_ she told herself. 

 

"What, are you just going to ignore your best friend?" Mabel called from beneath the deck. 

 

Slowly, Pacifica made her way back to the edge. "How are you..."

 

Mabel's long hair was completely soaked, her bangs hanging down and nearly covering her eyes. She reached up and tucked her locks behind her ears with a wide grin. She appeared to be wearing her swimsuit, but it was awfully cold to be swimming in the water. "The water's fine, Paz, c'mon in!" 

 

  
_She didn't answer my question._ "Mabel, I don't even know how you're here, but you need to like, get out of the water before you get sick or worse!" Pacifica pleaded before sticking her hands out to Mabel, hoping to pull her friend up onto the deck.

 

"Don't be such a downer! It's so warm out, you should really take a dip with me," Mabel pouted. "Please, Pacifica?" She stuck her bottom lip out and pressed her hands together. "Pretty please with some Mabel Juice on top?"

 

"I don't-" Pacifica shook her head. _This is Mabel. The girl you've been missing for two months is right in front of you, and you're turning her away? Get in the water._

Mabel reached out for Pacifica's hands and pulled herself closer. Leaning over the railing, the brunette pressed her forehead against Paz's. "I think you'll like it in the water." Mabel's voice was soft and sweet, sounding like a lullaby to Pacifica. "Please? For me?" Her palms held Pacifica's cheeks, soft against her skin. 

 

"O-okay," Pacifica whispered. "If that's what you want, Mabel." 

 

Just as Mabel moved away from Pacifica, the blonde was dragged backwards, two heavy hands clamping over her ears. She struggled to try to break away for a moment, before realizing with dread that the figure that had been inviting her to take a swim moments ago was not her friend. It was a siren.

 

Ford, who was still holding Pacifica back away from the creature, shoved her through the doorway of the cabin and slammed it shut. 

 

"Sheesh, what's he doing out there?" Stan grumbled as he sat down on the edge of the futon. "Trying to hog all the handsome guys for himself?"

 

Pacifica raised a brow. "Handsome men?"

 

"Y'know, all the shirtless guys that came up to the boat? I figured they were some sort of, I'unno, mermaid species."

 

Letting out a snort, Pacifica shook her head. "I don't think those were hot guys."

 

"Look, each to their own opinion or whatever, but those men were _certainly_ very attractive and-"

 

"No, I mean, those weren't even men. They were sirens, right?" She looked over at McGucket, who was watching out the window by the dining table.

 

"I think so," he answered. "Good thing they can't get to Ford, or we'd all be doomed!" 

 

"How come?" Pacifica asked.

 

"Well, it's all a trick. If you're attracted to someone, that's usually what they'll look like to ya'," the older man explained. "Ford's never really been into romance, or anything of the sorts. If you block out the song, you'll see them for how they really are, but for him, they always look like that."

 

"So that explains why I saw..." Pacifica bit her lip. She balled her hands into fists. "They used me. They used me! Why?"

 

McGucket shrugged. "Dinner, probably."

 

Pacifica crossed her arms with a slight huff, gazing out the window. _Nobody tries to do this to me and gets away with it._

Out on the deck, Ford was slowly backing away from the railing as three sirens hauled themselves up onto the boat. With his back pressed against the wall, his eyes widened. Pacifica could see his mouth moving- he must've been trying to negotiate with them.

 

An idea dawned upon Pacifica. She threw aside her journals and papers on the workbench and reached for her earbuds and phone. Before Stan and McGucket could even react, she was already dashing out the door, loud music blaring from the device in her hands.

 

Immediately, the sirens noticed the teenager joining Ford. Luckily for her, the music coming from her earbuds prevented her from falling under their spell. The sirens still had razor-sharp teeth that were ready to tear into her, though, and they still were making their way in her direction.  _Will this even work? What am I doing out here? Do we even have a plan? They're getting closer to us..._ Pacifica's back was pressed flat up against the wooden wall and she could only watch as the creatures crawled towards her, angry looks in their eyes. _This is how I die. This is it. Fish people in the middle of nowhere._

 

As panic settled in, she glanced around the deck, looking for something, _anything_ that could help them. Just when she thought it was hopeless, she noticed a rather large fishing net drooped over nearby.

 

"Ford," she hissed. "The net."

 

Pacifica couldn't hear his response, but she saw him nod twice. The two began to inch towards the mesh, neither one taking their eyes off of the sirens. All Pacifica could hear was the bubbly pop tune blasting in her ears. Together, they both scrambled to reach for the net. 

 

Holding the thick screen as tight as she could, she stumbled away from Ford, stretching the net out towards the other side of the deck. They then rushed forwards, pushing the sirens towards the edge of the boat. Pacifica leaned over the railing just in time to see the sirens dive into the ocean, drifting below the surface.

 

Her hands shook as she removed one earbud. "A-are we good?"

 

"I'm glad you had those headphones in- they have a mouth filthier than Stanley's!" Ford chuckled. "But yes, we're good. After exchanging some... _colorful_ words, they said something about finding food elsewhere. I think we'll be okay now." He reached over and patted the girl beside him on the back. 

 


	7. march

Pacifica was the first person off of the Stan-o-War when they docked in Depoe Bay, trailing her pink and purple bags behind her.

 

Sure, she had fun on their voyage, but no doubt was she happy to be back on land and eager to have conversations with someone under the age of 65. The end of their journey meant it was time for her to return to her normal life, which she was definitely ready for after two months at sea.

 

"Sheesh, Pacifica, could you be in any more of a hurry?" Stan joked as he waddled down the deck, two heavy duffel bags in his arms.

 

"I don't blame her," Ford replied. "I'm pretty happy to be back here, too. I just wish we could have gathered more research..." He shook his head as he followed his brother. 

 

"I want to get home, like, ASAP. I told Mabel I'd call her as soon as I could," Pacifica smiled sheepishly. 

 

Ford chuckled at that. "I'm not surprised."

 

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Pacifica turned back to face them, raising a brow.

 

"Mabel's all you've been talking about for the past eight weeks, kid," Stan snorted as he stepped over a curb and into the parking lot. "Hey Fids, would you unlock the car and pop the trunk for me?" He asked before tossing the keys to the man.

 

"That's not true," Pacifica scoffed, setting her bags down beside the parked vehicle. "I talk about her sometimes, but that's because we're friends. Friends talk about their friends," she argued as the trunk popped open. 

 

After loading his belongings into the back of the car, Stan ruffled the teenager's blonde hair. "I think you talk about her a lot more than just a friend normally would," he joked.

 

Pacifica shoved her bags beside his, trying to think of a good response. Maybe they were right. She _had_ brought up Mabel a lot. Maybe more than she was really aware of. Not to mention there was the whole incident with the sirens back in February. Friends didn't see friends in romantic illusions created by supernatural forces, after all.

 

She let out a frustrated grunt and crawled into the backseat, painfully aware of the fact that only a few months before, she had been sitting there with Mabel and shared tacos, just after the Pines girl had saved her life.

 

* * *

 

"Is it working? Can you see me?"

 

Pacifica sat in the middle of her king-sized mattress, legs crossed, her computer in her lap. On the screen in front of her was Mabel's face, grinning wide into the camera. 

 

"I can see you," Pacifica replied. "Mine's working, right?"

 

"Yeah!"

 

Smiling, Pacifica rested her chin in the palm of her hand. "Hi," she murmured. Did her hair look okay? Were there bags under her eyes? As soon as she'd gotten home from the bay, she'd rushed to her room and grabbed her laptop to call Mabel.

 

"Hi? Just hi? Miss Paz, you've been at sea for two months, having all kinds of wacky adventures, and you didn't start off with them?" Mabel teased, crossing her arms and faking a pout.

 

Pacifica shook her head, giggling. "Fine, okay. It was kind of boring at first. I read a lot of books and McG- _Fiddleford_ taught me more lessons like he's been doing since September. Technically, we did run into some mermaids, I guess, but they were kind of like, planning on eating us."

 

Mabel's eyes widened. "What?"

 

"Well, I mean, Ford and I got them to go away, so it wasn't too dangerous or anything..."

 

"Did you see any penguins?"

 

"No penguins."

 

"Man, 'cause Waddles was totally looking forward to a new friend," Mabel teased before reaching over to pat the pig beside her. "What else happened?"

 

"Reading, moping, drawing, boredom, lots of stale junk food," Pacifica sighed. "I'm so glad to be back home."

 

"I'm happy you're back, too! It totally sucked not being able to talk to you for a whole two months. Dipper's not really a good substitute. Same with all of my other friends at school," Mabel huffed before blowing a raspberry. "I really missed you, Paz."

 

Pacifica buried her face into one of her pillows, trying to hide her blushing cheeks.

 

 

* * *

 

_March 21st, 2012_

_I can't talk about this with anyone. Not yet, anyways._

~~_I think I_ ~~

~~~~

~~_Maybe I_ ~~

~~~~

~~_The sirens looked like her, so maybe it means  something in a scientific sense, right?_ ~~

~~~~

_I have a crush on Mabel._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lack of an update last weekend! I was crazy busy, but everything should be back on schedule now.


	8. april

 

The thick forest taking up a good portion of Gravity Falls' was home to many supernatural creatures. This, of course, was something Pacifica noticed in her 13 years of life in the tiny town. Seeing weird things out amongst the trees was either brushed off as tricks of the light, or maybe some sort of prank the local teenagers were pulling. However, she had seen gnomes with their bushy beards and stubby little legs, nymphs and their glowing skin and beautiful hair, minotaurs (or were they manotaurs? Pacifica always forgot) that smelled absolutely horrid and were incredibly obnoxious, and unfortunately, the remains of a certain triangular demon.

 

Since November, she had been avoiding a certain area of the woods, knowing what lied in the mud and grass. She didn't want to freak out again. She didn't want a repeat of that particularly awful night where everyone came looking for her. She didn't want to be reminded of Bill's near-destruction of her town, _her_ town, the fact that he nearly hurt _her_ and _Mabel_ and-

 

But now, Bill Cipher was exactly what Pacifica was looking for.

 

She figured that there was some chance that Bill was actually alive in his statue-like state, a chance that he could actually hear and comprehend what she had to say. Pacifica also figured that because he couldn't reply, therefore, couldn't voice whatever judgments he had, it would be easy to vent to him. Besides, what harm could he bring her? He was just a hunk of rock, after all.

 

Pacifica carried in her small backpack a picnic lunch in a brown paper bag and a bit of change so she could stop by Greasy's Diner and get a milkshake after her chat with the demon. As she stepped over branches and patches of thick mud, she racked her mind, trying to remember the way to where Bill was located.

 

_There._

The statue, still half-wedged into the ground, sat with one arm sticking out towards her. Swallowing any negativity, Pacifica made her way forward. She tossed her bag into the grass and eased herself down next to it. For a moment, she stayed put, simply watching Bill. She then cleared her throat.

 

"I know this is going to sound really stupid, but I need someone to talk to."

 

Bill's large, frozen eye stared back at her.

 

"I mean, you can't answer, I know, but I _don't_ know who else to go to..." She shook her head, feeling a bit silly. "I've got a lot going on. Like, _a lot_. I mean, it could be worse, but things suck." Pacifica leaned forward, resting her chin in the palm of her hand. "Where do I even start?"

 

Bill did not answer.

 

"My parents are... Well... _Shit_. They try sometimes, but I think they care more about our reputation or whatever than they care about me, o-or what I want. It's gotten better since, y'know, your whole near-apocalypse that you caused, because it was sort of like a reality check for them, but they're still jerks. I used to always say that I hated them, and I think I still do. It's always about who's going to what party or what who's wearing or how much someone has." Pacifica blew a strand of hair away from her face, watching it move in front of her eyes for a moment. She then paused before continuing.

 

"Fiddleford is nice to me, at least. He's really smart, too, and he's actually a really good teacher. When I first found out that he was going to let us move into the manor with him after we first lost it, I was like, 'ew, seriously?' But now he's kind of like my weird uncle or something, I suppose," Pacifica said as she reached for her bag. Holding it in her lap, she reached inside and pulled out the brown paper sack that contained her lunch. 

 

Part of Paz wished that Bill could take part in a real conversation with her. Then he'd be able to give her some sort advice or at least acknowledge the fact that she was talking to him.

 

"Then there's _you._ You nearly destroyed my home," she grumbled, pulling out a sandwich and using the paper bag as a plate. "My home! I had nightmares for weeks about all of the terrible things I had to witness, and there wasn't anybody I could go to about it, because I was afraid!" She balled her hands into fists. "And don't even get me started on what you did to my friends."

 

She hung her head. "But at least _some_ good's come out of all of this. I'm closer with Wendy now, a-and Mabel and Dipper. Fiddleford, too," Pacifica murmured. "I have a better family, I guess."

 

When Bill failed to reply to her venting again, Pacifica let out a soft sigh. "I don't think this is working for me. You're too quiet, I'm sorry. I thought-" Paz paused to let out a frustrated huff, "I thought talking to a goddamn statue would substitute for actual conversation. Maybe I'm losing it."

 

Pacifica stood up, brushing the dirt off of her jeans and tugging her baggy mustard-colored sweater back onto her shoulder. "See ya around, jerk," she uttered to Bill before turning back towards the way she had come.

 

* * *

 

When Pacifica returned home, she tugged out one of her golfing outfits from the back of her wardrobe. It had been months since she had even practiced the hobby, but she decided that now was as good of a time as any other to pick it back up. Carrying her clubs with her, she made her way out to a side of the yard where her father had set up a place for the two of them to practice and placed a ball on a tee.

 

  
_Who are you even going to talk to about your problems?_ _It's not like Mom and Dad are going to be any help._

Swing.

_It'd be too weird to talk to Fiddleford or Ford or Stan._

Pacifica set another ball on the tee.

  
_You can't talk to Mabel about EVERYTHING._ _Dipper's always busy._

Swing. 

_Don't even THINK about talking to Tiffany. Besides, she wouldn't get it._

Tee.

  
_Maybe Wendy?_ _She wouldn't judge me or anything, but she could give advice._

Swing. 

_I could come by the shack soon to talk to her. She'll know how to help._

Tee.

 

_After all, she always seems so laid-back._

Swing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's posted so late, I've had a busy day! Only 2 more chapters to go!


	9. may

Nervously, Pacifica stood on the rickety front porch of the Corduroy family cabin, waiting for someone to answer the door.

 

She had stopped by the Mystery Shack earlier that morning, hoping to find the older girl and getting the chance to talk to her, but Soos had informed her that Wendy had asked for the weekend off. "Sorry, dude," he'd told her, "maybe you could try looking for her at her place? It's just down the road."

 

So Pacifica had walked even further (in the rain, which was totally going to ruin her hair, but she decided it was worth it) to Wendy's house. 

 

She tensed up as she heard the door click.

 

A boy that didn't look much older than her pulled it open. Pacifica figured he was one of Wendy's siblings, but she struggled to recall his name. She had, however, heard Wendy go on rants about how frustrating it was to have three brothers. Pacifica had been thankful to be an only child after hearing the horror stories of finding her belongings missing or strung about the house or the dreaded annual Corduroy family road trip.

 

"Are you here for Wendy?" He mumbled, scratching at the back of his head.

 

"Yeah... Is she home?" Pacifica replied as she folded her arms over her chest.

 

"She's in her room," the boy answered before disappearing back inside. Pacifica took the open door as a cue to follow him.

 

  
_Which room is hers?_ Pacifica asked herself as she glimpsed around. She realized what a silly question that was, though, when she saw a closed door at the end of the hallway covered in posters. Rock music blared from behind the wood, and although it was muffled, Pacifica recognized it as one of Wendy's favorite bands.

 

Pacifica knocked twice before stepping inside of the teenager's messy bedroom.

 

She had never been inside, but it looked just like she had pictured it. More posters for various bands, festivals, and movies were spread across the wood-paneled walls. Her dresser and desk were cluttered with old toys and knickknacks. On the bed lay Wendy and a friend of hers Pacifica remembered seeing at the Mystery Shack on a few occasions.

 

"Oh, hey, Pacifica, what's up?" Wendy shouted over the music after lifting her head to see who was there.

 

"What?" Pacifica shouted back.

 

"Hang on-" Wendy grumbled, struggling to climb up from her spot on the lumpy mattress. She padded over to the other side of her bedroom and turned off a speaker that sat on her desk. "What's up?" The teen then repeated.

 

Shyly, Pacifica stood in the doorway, wondering if she should have just stayed home. "I just wanted to swing by, a-and maybe talk to you, but like, only if you aren't busy or anything," she mumbled, her gaze focused on the floorboards beneath her.

 

"Hey, you can hang out with us! Tambry brought over some hair dye and I was about to help her with it. We could do yours, too, if you want," Wendy offered with a friendly smile.

 

Colored hair? What would her parents even think of that? A surprising smile spread across her face. _What_ would _my parents think of that?_  


"What color?" Pacifica asked.

 

"I want to go a lighter purple," Tambry said, reaching for the bottle on Wendy's nightstand. She held it up so Pacifica could get a better look.

 

"Maybe just the ends," the younger girl murmured, running a hand through her long, blonde hair.

 

 

* * *

 

In the bathroom, Pacifica gazed at her reflection in a small mirror Wendy had passed to her.

 

"What do you think?" Tambry eagerly asked from her spot on the edge of the bathtub. 

 

"I..." Pacifica shook her head, giggling. "My parents are going to kill me." _That is, if they even notice._ The tips of her hair, now a lavender color, definitely stood out, but Preston and Priscilla hardly spent any time around their daughter. Besides, the manor was pretty big, and she figured she could try avoiding them for a while.

 

Wendy shrugged, laughing. "At least you had us to help us. The first time Tambry and I got permission from our parents to do this, we totally messed it up. We thought this one video tutorial online would work, but it backfired on us. Oh man, her mom was _so_ mad at us. It took us _weeks_ to get green dye out of the sink at her house," she snickered.

 

"Now this is the only place we're allowed to do it ourselves," Tambry added, grinning. 

 

"So," Wendy turned to Pacifica as she hopped up onto the countertop. "What did you want to talk about?"

 

Pacifica's gaze turned to the floor in embarrassment. "Oh, uh..." She hung her head. "I thought maybe I could come to you for some, like, romantic advice, maybe."

 

Wendy let out a gasp. "Of all the people you could go to for advice, especially the romantic kind, you came to _me?_ I'm honored!" She giggled. "Lay it on me, girl."

 

Pacifica eased herself down onto the linoleum, her back pressed against the bathroom door. "Well," she started with a smile growing across her cheeks. She kept her head down in a bad attempt to hide it. "I usually don't get crushes on anybody. But like, there's someone that I know and they're really... Well... I don't know. Maybe, y'know..."

 

Wendy leaned over and playfully punched Pacifica's arm. "Who is it? Do I know them?"

 

A bit embarrassed, Pacifica nodded. "But I don't know if she like, likes me back, and I just hate feeling stuck in this limbo-"

 

"Woah, hey man, it's alright," Wendy interrupted. "Do you want to tell me about her?"

 

Pacifica's cheeks flushed red and she pulled her knees close. "Well, for starters, she's, uh..." She blanked for a moment, then nearly stumbled on her words when she spoke again. "She's pretty much, like, my best friend. She's super kind to everyone, a-and she's really goofy. She makes a lot of people happy and I want to be the same way," she admitted before adding, "Plusshe'sreallypretty."

 

Wendy raised a brow, grinning wide. "That _does_ sound like somebody I know."

 

"I've never liked a girl before, o-or at least, not like _this_ , and I'm not sure if I should tell her, or how or when, and what if it doesn't work out-"

 

"I went through the same thing when I was your age. Dating people is pretty confusing, Paz," Wendy laughed. "God, I've got so many exes. Russ Durham, Eli Hall, Stoney Davidson, Rachel Burke, one time I had a fling with a girl in Massachusetts- hell, one time _Tambry_ and I tried dating," she snickered. "That didn't work out. But see? We're still friends. Sometimes things don't go as planned, and it's okay! I'm sure Mab- _this girl that you like_ , wouldn't want to call off the friendship or anything if she doesn't like you back. She's told me some things, though, and I think maybe asking her out on a little date might be worth a shot."

 

"You think so?" Pacifica looked up in surprise.

 

"I know so, dude. You should've heard some of the things she used to say about you. Sounds like you've both got it pretty bad."

 

 

"Maybe talking to her would be a good idea," Tambry butt in. "Opening up about how you feel might make things less awkward."

 

"Go for it, Paz!" Wendy chimed in.

 

Pacifica tipped her head back against the door, folding her hands in her lap as she thought it all over. "Thanks, guys," she mumbled. Mabel's arrival back in town was still a good few weeks away, but Pacifica was suddenly eager to confess her secret to her. As she twirled her finger through her blonde and purple locks, Paz couldn't hide her smile. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, sorry for the lack of an update last weekend! Writer's block hit me pretty hard and I was also at a con all day, so I didn't have the chance to post anything. Thank you again for all of the encouraging and positive comments, they're really what keeps me going!


	10. june

"Thanks for giving me a ride, Fiddleford," Pacifica spoke from the passenger seat of the old man's truck. 

 

She watched the treeline as the vehicle rumbled down the dirt road. In just a few minutes, she'd be seeing Mabel and Dipper for the first time since January. Anxiety bubbled up inside of her, but she tried her hardest to keep it down.

 

"No problem," Fiddleford replied. "Call me tonight when ya' want me to go home."

 

Pacifica glimpsed down at the phone in her lap just in time to see the words "NEW MESSAGE" flash across the screen. She swiped her fingers across it to see that the message was one of many sent by Mabel.

 

  
**11:32 AM 6/12/13 Mabel:** are you on your way yet??

  
**11:34 AM 6/12/13 Mabel:** paz

  
**11:35 AM 6/12/13 Mabel:** PAZ

  
**11:36 AM 6/12/13 Mabel:** PAZ WHERE ARE YOU

  
**11:37 AM 6/12/13 Mabel:** WADDLES MISSES YOU HURRY UP  **❤** **❤** **❤**  


  
**11:38 AM 6/12/13 Mabel:** did your butler fetch you the wrong pair of slippers?

 

Brushing her thumbs over the keyboard, Pacifica sent a reply.

 

  
**11:38 AM 6/12/13 Me:** omg I'm almost there

  
**11:39 AM 6/12/13 Me:** and for the record, i can fetch my own slippers

 

Before McGucket could even manage to actually park, Pacifica was already scrambling out of her seat. Mabel bounded down the porch steps, her arms extended and ready to hug the other girl.

 

"Paz!" Mabel hollered as she gave Pacifica what was probably the tightest hug she'd ever received.

 

"Hey," Pacifica mumbled, her voice muffled by the thick knit of Mabel's sweater. "Mabel."

 

"Yeah?"

 

"You're squishing me a little bit."

 

"Oh!" Mabel exclaimed, loosening her grip on the girl. Together they then burst into a fit of giggling and grinning. 

 

"Should we head inside?" Pacifica glimpsed over at the building beside them. It was still a bit strange to her how familiar she had become with the Mystery Shack over the past few months. Before, she would have never even dreamed of entering. Now it was her home away from home.

 

"Actually," Mabel beamed, "I have a picnic packed and ready to go! We could hike over by the falls and hang out for the afternoon."

 

  
_So like a date?_ Pacifica thought before suddenly shaking the idea away. "Is Dipper coming too? Or Candy and Grenda?

 

"I was thinking it would be just us," Mabel replied. "I mean, if you want them to go with us, I'm sure they wo-"

 

"It's fine," Pacifica blurted. "I mean, I'm kind of okay with it being just us," she said, adding an awkward laugh. "Just us girls, r-right?"

 

Mabel nodded. "Just us girls," she repeated.

 

 

* * *

 

Pacifica kept her head down as she walked beside Mabel, their fingers interlocked. Her sundress and sandals weren't exactly hiking material, but heading out into the woods beat sitting around in the Mystery Shack all day (the AC never worked in the attic, anyways).

 

She didn't notice when they'd steered towards an area of the forest that wasn't exactly her favorite.

 

Mabel's hand was shaking in Pacifica's.

 

"What's wro-" Paz started before she looked up to see Bill Cipher in front of them, his stoney eye staring forward. 

 

"That's-"

 

"It's just a statue," Pacifica reassured her, reaching for Mabel's other hand. "Hey, hey, look at me."

 

A look of panic had struck across Mabel's face. 

 

"It's just a statue. I-I've seen it before, it won't hurt you. See?" She bent over and reached for a mossy rock, pulling it up from the dirt. Pacifica stopped to aim before throwing the object as hard as she could. It bounced off of Bill's middle and skidded across the grass.

 

"Why is it here?" Mabel whispered, fumbling for Pacifica's hand again.

 

"I don't know," Pacifica murmured. "I wish I did... It kind of freaked me out at first," she admitted. 

 

"I mean, I could see why, obviously."

 

"I should have told you, I'm sorry. I didn't think about this, it's all my fault," Pacifica frowned. _You should've thought about that. Now you've upset Mabel._  


"Hey, i-it's alright, it's not like you did it on purpose. It was an accident."

 

"Yeah, but-"

 

"Pacifica, I don't mean to interrupt, and as much as I'd love to stand here and hold your hand, I would rather get away from the ominous triangle sitting six feet away from us," Mabel squeaked.

 

"Right, sorry." Pacifica squeezed Mabel's hand tighter as she led the brunette away from the clearing.

 

 

* * *

 

Stretching out on the pink blanket Mabel brought along, Pacifica sipped at a glass of "Mabel Juice" she'd poured.

 

"-and so I was like, 'Well, I know that I wasn't the one to buy that haunted carton of milk!'" Mabel finished with a mouth full of cookies. "Paz, you should let me braid your hair."

 

"Okay," Pacifica mumbled, tipping her head back, letting her long blonde hair fall into Mabel's lap. "It might be kind of tangled, though."

 

"It's fine, I brought a brush with me."

 

Pacifica shut her eyes, listening to the _thwump_ sound of the brush running through her locks and the nearby roar of the waterfall the town was named for. She was thankful that she'd been getting out of the manor more. The forest surrounding Gravity Falls was truly beautiful and gave her a good place to think.

 

_Now's a good time to tell Mabel you like her._

_It's a bad idea. No._

_But it's the perfect time._

_Go for it._

"So, uh, Mabel," Pacifica started, her mouth suddenly feeling a bit dry. "I kind of wanted to talk to you about something."

 

_There's no turning back now._

"Yeah?" Mabel mused.

 

"We've kind of been, like, pretty close these past few months, and I was sort of wondering- Well, I- Uh-"

 

_shut up shut up this was a bad idea_

"Hmm?"

 

"IthinkIkindoflikeyouandIdon'tknowifyoulikemebackbutit'scoolifyoudon'tbutImeanit'dbeawesomeifyoudidbutlikelet'sjustignorethisifyoudon'tokay?"

 

Nervously, Pacifica twisted around to face Mabel. The expression on the other girl's face was definitely not what she'd been expecting, but was just what she had been hoping for.

 

"Paz!" Mabel gushed, suddenly pulling her friend into a warm embrace. 

 

"So is that a yes?" Pacifica replied, pushing her bangs out of her eyes.

 

"Of course!" 

 

"Really?" A grin stretched across Pacifica's face.

 

"Did you miss all of those hints I've been droppin' on ya? Pacifica, I've kissed you for crying out loud! Multiple times! I mailed you a poem about how much I love you once!"

 

Pacifica's cheeks turned read. "I wasn't sure," she giggled.

 

"I can't wait to take you on so many cute dates. I'm gonna knit us matching sweaters, too! It's going to be great!"

 

Laughing, Pacifica fell back against the blanket, feeling the warm sun against her face. She closed her eyes, overwhelmed with bliss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this!! I'm so happy you guys liked it and thank you for the positive feedback!


End file.
